It's Not Christmas
by noodle-ness
Summary: [Kyoya x Tamaki] It's June, and Tamaki has a plan. Kyoya doesn't offer to help him. Oneshot.


"Kyoya? Could you help me with something?" 

The thing about Tamaki, Kyoya had realized, was that he had an ability to sound completely and utterly innocent of any wrong no matter what he said.

"It's not really very much- I just need a bit of help to do something, you see, I'm trying to surprise Haruhi! I've got this wonderful idea and I just, well, I can't exactly do it alone..." Tamaki smiled winningly as he knelt before Kyoya.

With a sigh, Kyoya stood up. "You know," he commented dryly, "people normally pose like you do when they're about to make a marriage proposal. You look like an idiot."

Tamaki brushed himself off, still smiling. "Ah, but you'll help me, then?"

The other thing about Tamaki, Kyouya remembered, was that he was astonishingly manipulative when he put his mind to it.

"I might," he said. "What is it you're trying to do, anyway?"

"Oh, like I said, it's not very much- see, I was thinking, Haruhi is a commoner, right? So that means she's never had the beautiful experience of a Christmas where one gets to sit around the roaring fire with one's family, waiting with eager anticipation for the next day when you can open the presents-"

"Tamaki, you..." Kyoya shook his head. "It's June. If you want Haruhi to experience something like that, can't you wait until December? At least then it'll tie in with the rest of the usual celebrations that we normally do-"

Shaking his head, Tamaki pulled Kyoya over to the corner of the music room. "No, that won't work," he explained in all his usual enthusiasm, "because you see then she'll have to entertain the ladies as well and she'll be all distracted just like last year and I can't let that happen again! But if I hold a celebration for her in June, you see, that way she'll get to experience just the same atmosphere, in the company of her closest friends and family! Isn't it a wonderful idea?"

There was a pause as Kyoya considered the question. "It's certainly... original," he conceded, after he'd been dragged over. Before him lay several boxes of varying size and a small pile of wrapping paper. "So, you want me to help you wrap presents?"

"Yes!"

"Forget it." Kyoya turned and headed back for the couch.

"But- But Kyoya! Wouldn't you feel bad if you had never had a proper Christmas celebration? Don't you have any feelings? How can you do this to Haruhi- to me? How can you stand it, knowing that Haruhi has never had a proper Christmas? And as her Father and Mother, this is certainly the very least we could do-"

There must have been a really loud noise then, Kyoya thought, even though he hadn't heard anything. It must have deafened him to the point where he'd actually had a hallucination of Tamaki speaking. Yes, it must have been that, since the only other explanation would be that the King was trying to guilt trip him into doing something utterly ridiculous for what was the twentieth time that year.

So far, the score was Tamaki, twenty, Kyoya, nil. It was one of the few things Kyoya hadn't yet been able to explain.

"Kyoya? Please?"

Ah, no hallucination, unfortunately. "...Just this once, then."

* * *

Half an hour later, both the President and the Vice President of the Ouran High School Host Club sat side by side on the floor, Kyoya trying to get a stubborn piece of tape off his hands and Tamaki laughing, genuinely (but then again, Tamaki was always genuine).

"I think," Tamaki smiled, leaning back against a half wrapped box, "you look nice in purple. Shiny purple. With stars on."

Kyoya removed the offending piece of wrapping paper from his leg and threw it at Tamaki.

Almost immediately, the blonde 's face fell- "Ah, Kyoya," he said, "you don't have to throw things at me! Besides it really was nice! Don't you like it?"

"Not on me."

"But," Tamaki said, "you're smiling."

"Oh," Kyoya replied. "I hadn't realized."

"Obviously!"

* * *

It took them all of two hours to wrap the presents, and by that time they had used up all of the paper with Tamaki had brought along. It would be easy enough for an onlooker to tell which box had been wrapped by which boy. The ones that Tamaki had managed to get his hands on were elaborately wrapped, with bows and frills and other such ornaments. Kyoya's boxes were more simply wrapped, with a ribbon, at most, for decoration.

Kyoya had found, to his surprise, that he had enjoyed it.

Tamaki did not say anything when he looked over at his friend, a box in his hands and a faint smile on his lips. It would be, after all, somewhat impolite to spoil the whole mood just like that.

He put the box down beside the others, stepping back to Kyouya's side to observe the small pile.

"Well," Kyoya finally said. "It's not... _bad_, is it?"

"No," Tamaki agreed. "It isn't." He smiled cheerfully. "Do you think Haruhi will like them? I really hope she likes the dresses you got her. They were so beautiful, too! I certainly can't wait to see my beloved daughter in them-"

In Kyoya's mind, something went _click_.

"_I_ got her dresses?"

"Oh, you didn't see?" Tamaki laughed. "Remember the nice cards I made with all the flowers on them and all the little names, most of which say 'To Haruhi, From So-and-So'- you know, it took me _ages_ to print them all out, and they're all on paper of the very best quality-"

"Tamaki," Kyoya said.

"Yes?"

"I got her _dresses_?"

There was silence in the room for all of half a second. "Well," Tamaki pointed out. "The little card on the box with the dresses inside _does _say 'To Haruhi, From Your Beloved Mother, Kyoya'. I thought you didn't mind, I mean, I have cards for Hani and Mori and for the twins and-"

He stopped as Kyoya knelt down and started sorting through the pile. "Ah, Kyoya..."

Several boxes fell on the floor. "Tell me it isn't the one with the pink paper with bunnies."

"No, that one's- um, I think that one should be strawberry cake, from Hani, I wrapped that myself-" Tamaki winced as a few more ribbons got crumpled. "You know, the one you want is over there- mm, the one you just dropped on your foot."

"Ah," said Kyoya. "Thank you." He picked the box up and reached for the card, about to take it off, and stopped when Tamaki reached over.

"Why don't you leave it on?"

"Why don't I take it off?"

"Because- because Haruhi is your _daughter_, right? And what better gift from a mother to her child than beautiful clothes? Besides, don't you trust my taste? I bought all of them myself, and they're really beautiful. In any case- Kyoya? Kyoya- I'd just like to see her face when she opens the box. Please?"

He smiled winningly.

Kyoya sighed as he put the box down. "You know," he commented, "for the President of the Host Club, you can be amazingly childish sometimes."

Smiling suddenly, Tamaki reached for Kyoya's hands. "But you don't mind, right? Besides, you did say the other day that the customers preferred me to you- which means that whatever I'm doing, it's working."

Amazingly sharp as well, Kyoya added mentally.

"I don't mind," he answered, smiling ruefully. "You should let go of my hands," he pointed out then. "If any of Hikaru and Kaoru's customers see us like this, they might decide to transfer their designated hosts from them to us."

"Wasn't that what you were wondering about with Mori and Hani?" Tamaki pulled Kyoya over to the couches and sat down, waiting for his Vice President to join him. "You were saying the other month that there might have been a problem with that."

Kyoya shook his head slightly. "No, Hikaru and Kaoru appeal to the 'forbidden love' customers, whereas Mori and Hani are more to the fancy of girls who enjoy relationships with a clear seme and uke. Whereas for us..."

"It's more ambiguous?"

"I suppose."

"Mm," Tamaki sighed, leaning back. "Oh, well. Kyoya..."

"What is it?"

"Do you think Haruhi will like the dresses?"

Kyoya thought about the question for a while. Then: "No," he answered. "I don't."

Tamaki's expression was sad for a moment. "Oh, well," he said, "I guess it was worth a try."

"If she doesn't even like the dresses her real father got for her, I doubt she'll like them. And she's not stupid, you know. She'll know I didn't get them." He paused as a thought struck him. "Tamaki, what did you get her?"

The blond shrugged. "Um. I think my name's on the box with the bracelet in it. You know, the one you got made that has all our portraits in it."

"Oh, that one."

Neither of them spoke for a while.

"Merry Christmas, Mother."

"In your dreams, Tamaki."


End file.
